Kettle's on

Some days you wake and immediately start to worry. Nothing in particular is wrong. It's just the suspicion that forces are aligning quietly and there will be trouble.

spork:

I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade 

(via apyroatbakerstreet)

Saturday night. Endless sirens and firetrucks.

Oh good, the police helicopter is out.

Edit: I should clarify, please don’t worry. I am in a peaceful leafy suburb. With, apparently, more than its share of violent deaths BUT all is well. 

iam2460done:

This was and always will be my crowning achievement in Cards Against Humanity

iam2460done:

This was and always will be my crowning achievement in Cards Against Humanity

(via rattus-armatus)

leonthomasblog:

I’m with Javert.

leonthomasblog:

I’m with Javert.

(Source: , via coto524)

bromancing-the-stone:

cishetofficial:

for every 50 notes this gets i’ll read a chapter of this book: 

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What a horrible way to die.

(Source: yunishinoya, via bonkalore)

http://guy-with-the-golden-pun.tumblr.com/post/97947759620/textsfromtitanfood-consider-the-following-aus

textsfromtitanfood:

consider the following aus

  • "we wore matching halloween costumes to this party" au
  • "we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
  • "tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help…

tresbellemichelle:

blametheleather:

everybody has that one kink that they will never ever admit to liking and will secretly read every fic ever written about it but will vehemently deny it if you ever mention it

#keep your friends close and your secret and socially unaccepted kinks closer

(Source: mandytastypussy, via sirsammichman)

Since it’s shitposting o’clock and nobody will see this, I’d like to confess that A’s nickname for me is Ralph “because you get overwhelmed and fall down a lot, sweetheart.”
My best friend also calls me Ralphie. 

Since it’s shitposting o’clock and nobody will see this, I’d like to confess that A’s nickname for me is Ralph “because you get overwhelmed and fall down a lot, sweetheart.”

My best friend also calls me Ralphie. 

(Source: thephantomsrevenge, via apyroatbakerstreet)

ghostshxt:

really need to be apart of this family

ghostshxt:

really need to be apart of this family

wearenothingbutneonslime:

If you ever want to model your relationship after a couple, always model it after Morticia and Gomez. They are perfect. 

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They just love each other so much and want each other. 

Gomez - How long has it been since we last waltzed? 

Morticia - Oh Gomez…Hours.

They are perfect. That is all